BenjySomeone has to take the blame. And the shouting. It doesn't have to be you.
Benjy supplies trained, fully deniable professionals who take the blame on your organization's behalf, then stay on the line while people tell them exactly what they think of it. Angry customers, furious shareholders, that one man at the town hall: we listen, we nod, we apologize. In writing, on camera, or on our knees.
From incident to "lessons learned", as often as necessary
Something happens
A data leak, or loss. An outage. A production system that has been down for two weeks, and still nobody knows how to fix it.
You book a scapegoat
Tell us the severity. We send a professional of appropriate seniority and gravitas, with a backdated employment history and a job title tailored to what went wrong.
They take it
Your scapegoat accepts full responsibility, faces the cameras, and takes every angry call, email and town-hall question.
For as long as it takes
No dramatic exit. Your scapegoat keeps showing up until people run out of things to say. Then they go home, and we send you the timesheet.
Billed by the hour, by severity
When something goes wrong, your scapegoat shows up and stays on it for as long as it takes. You pay for every hour, at the rate matching the severity, billed in six-minute increments like your lawyers. All plans include a non-disclosure agreement and our signature phrase "we take this extremely seriously".
Minor Mishap
- Written apology, hand-signed
- Regret level 5 of 10
- One statement containing the word "unfortunately"
- Takes up to 100 angry calls and emails
- Usually over by lunchtime
Serious Incident
- Live press conference with a 2.5-second tearful pause
- Regret level 8 of 10
- Fronts every angry call, email and town hall, however long it takes
- Walks to a car without commenting, comes back the next morning for more
Full-Blown Scandal
- Testifies before any committee, in any language
- Regret level 11 of 10
- Stands outside headquarters while protesters express themselves
- Personal apology call to every shareholder who asks
Add-ons
What our clients don't say publicly
“Our CFO left the customer database on a train. Our Benjy associate has been with us ever since.”
“Week one, they were furious. Week three, they were tired. Week six, they were sending him birthday cards.”
“The committee asked who was responsible. For the first time in our history, we had an answer.”
Request a scapegoat
Describe your situation in as much detail as your lawyers allow. A responsibility consultant will review it with complete discretion.